Saturday, September 17, 2011

Homesick

I am rediculously homesick. But its a weird kind of homesick. I miss my friends back home a lot. and my church and the cool stuff thats going on. My friends went to the Journey and Foreigner concert, Kailey and Ines are in Orlando and going to Disney, Universal Studios, etc, my church had a Battle of the Bands and a Becoming Women's Conference, some friends from college are going to Homecoming, and I'm missing out on all of it. And I know I am having an INCREDIBLE experience of my own, but its not in community. And I KNOW its not true, but I feel forgotten- the out of sight, out of mind mentality. Its kind of like I'm away at college, but I don't get to come home for fall break, and Thanksgiving and occasional weekends.I come home at Christmas.

I know that I'm not forgotten, that its just all in my mind. I get the updates from the Cobbledicks about things to pray for and whats going on during Sunday lunch and I miss them terribly and wish I could be there. I feel like this is God preparing me for whats to come. I felt like when I left Asheville for California, I was saying goodbye deep down. As awesome as a faith community that I had and an amazing Mom, something was missing in my life and God was calling me to leave. And every city I go to, I see how amazing Asheville is and how I could spend the rest of my life there, but theres still that something missing. And I don't know what it is or what I'm looking for!

I came on this journey to get closer to God and seek what He has for my life. Right now, I feel like Im on one huge road trip and that I get to work a few hours a day. I absolutely love my job. I love what the company stands for and what we get to do. I actually like the challenge of lining up projectors with all the obstacles and figuring out how the heck we are going to fit 3 huge frames in small spaces...and then watch the kids watch the video and actually affect some of them. I wish we could have more interaction with them, but its planting seeds. Yeah, for some, they are just getting out of class for 45 min or so, but for others- it actually does speak into their lives. And its for those kids that we do what we do.

However, I haven't been doing the main personal reason I came to Camfel. I haven't been studying the Word and listening to God's still, silent voice or praying as much as I should. Today is kind of the day that I'm taking for that and planning out how to do it on a daily basis. Maybe then I wont be so homesick. I've been focusing a lot of time on other people or the adventure I'm on, or just myself and not nearly enough on mine and God's relationship. I gotta "Get a Grip" and buckle down on self-control. Ironic, isn't it? I spoke to my cousin Adam today and talked about all the challenges I was facing and thats what he told me- I got to get some self-control. Ok, God. I got it. Loud and clear. Here I go....

Passion

One of the things I was most looking forward to experiencing on this journey was to visit the many different types of churches that are under a Christian umbrella. I want to see how people worship God in their own unique ways within their community and how their beliefs shape their actions, etc. I even somewhat want to go to other faith communities, just for pure curiosity sake. A mosque, or Jewish synagogue- but don't worry...I'm pretty strong in my faith, I'm not going to convert or anything if I go- no matter what they say. Haha....

I liked the churches in LA that I got to experience. Israel Houghton led worship at one church we went to- and that...it was pretty friggin awesome! Oasis Church reminded me of the Rock, and made me homesick. I'm finding out that I really like the worship of this kind of church. We went to Christ Church of the Valley while we were in Cali too and I liked it a lot as well. Really powerful message.

While on the road, we have been to 2 churches so far. We've only been out 3 weeks, but the first week, me and my coworker were both sick and slept in. The second week we went to a large inter-denominational church and I wasn't a fan. During worship, no one sang, raised hands, or engaged in worship in any form. The message didn't challenge me in my walk or faith and I felt like I walked out of there receiving nothing. I'm not saying that people have to raise their hands for worship- or even sing for that matter to worship God- it can be an inner experience- but for the whole congregation? It was WEIRD. Rachel put it like this- It was like a small church was trying to be a megachurch and was falling in the gap.

Our second church though, was the total opposite. We met up with Jake and Todd again in Philly and went to an inner city church called Chosen Generation Worship Center. Driving there, it was a little sketchy- narrow roads through project housing...but whatever. We park along the street and walk in and we are the only 4 white people there. AWESOME. Rach gave me this look like- I can't believe you are making me do this (It was my birthday weekend, so I chose the church again). It turned out to be the BEST church experience so far. It was a smaller church, of maybe 30 or so people. The worship was amazing and passionate. You could tell that these people LOVED Jesus and loved to praise Him. Worship went on for a good long time. The preacher came up and spoke on the mathmatical elements of the cross and absolutely BLEW my mind. He was definitely annointed by God and spoke on His Word, without sugar coating. It was a powerful message and people gave their lives to God after it. The pastor laid hands on those people and prayed over them and even spoke over a womans life about her past and some people in her life she needed to shake. Some people may think thats a bunch of balony, but being there in that space, you could feel the Spirit thick and knew that what was happening was real.
We talked to some people afterwards and told them if we were back in the area we would come back. We are going to be there next weekend :) I'm ridiculously excited to return.I left there going over the message in my mind and was really challenged by it, and even wanting to search the Scriptures about some things the pastor said. But overall, the word passion kept replying in my mind. This congregation was on fire for God and was passionate about it. You could see it, you could feel it, and you were hungry for more of what they had to offer.

Again, its the hardest thing that I am having to deal with being on the road, not being a part of a church community. We go to church on Sunday, but being a part of church is so much more than that. I feel like I'm church shopping and continually critiquing everything I see going on. Thank you college and Bible and Religion degree. And its not something that I can just 'stop' doing. Its engrained in me. I think through the message and how much is Scripturally based rather than "me" based, and where the worship is directed and how the young people interact with the rest of the congregation....among lots of other factors.

And then I read Scripture on my own time that challenges my thinking even more, like when Jesus turned over the moneychangers tables and told the people selling animals for sacrifice in the Temple to leave because the Temple is the House of God, not the marketplace....look at most churches today- how many are selling books, and dvds, and cds, shirts, etc? Have we not turned God's house into a marketplace?

I'm really excited to discover a new church tomorrow. Or synagogue. There is one near where we are at this week. It might be fun. I just want to find passion for God whereever I am. Hopefully some will rub off on me because I feel like I may be losing some of mine.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Oh Pittsburgh...we meet again!

So after a wonderful time in Ohio, our next stop along the way was in Pittsburgh. For a WHOLE WEEK. I was actually really excited about it. Me and my roommate Jenifer drove through when we went to visit my best friend Brittney a couple years ago and I just remember it being absolutely gorgeous and thinking that I could possibly move there. And I could, if it was in the south and winter wouldn't suck.

We met up with another team while we were there- Jake and Todd. Jake is dating my partner on the road, Rachel. So while they had their alone time, me and Todd got to hang out a bit. It was a lot of fun. We even went on a jog around the area (without sidewalks too- I cant believe an area like this doesn't have sidewalks!!!) It was more like a walk because I was sick and couldn't breathe out of my nose. But it was a fun little adventure.

We only got to hang out with them for 2 and a half days because they had other shows. We got lucky that week and only had 2 shows, one on Monday and one on Friday. And it was Labor Day weekend too. Work one day, have 3 days off, work another day, have 3 days off. All 4 of us went into downtown and explored on Tuesday, and took a gazillion pictures. Or at least I did. Old churches hidden between skyscrapers and castles that turn out to be courthouses, and fountains flowing between buildings- it was quite a sight.

Pittsburgh-ers are pretty crazy about their sports teams too. When they say Steeler nation- they mean it. I like that though. They are devoted to their hometeams. Pirates, Steelers, Penguins- they all have a very devoted and LOUD fanbase. Too bad I'm a Carolina girl. And always will be. I'm a hometeam girl too, and my home will always be in NC. The Steelers played Carolina in a preseason game while I was here. They were playing in Carolina or I would have totally been there. Steelers won. Oh well. It was just a preseason game.

I met a new friend (a friend of a friend) and we went to a pub called Primantis. Oh man was it good. I had a Knockwurst sandwich and on this sandwich was a brat, sauerkraut, tomato, cheese, and fries. Yes, fries. On a sandwich. And it was delish. And Naysa was really cool too. I found out from her that the G28 Summit was held in Pittsburgh at this really cool looking convention center. And we talked politics a lot too. And about British royals...haha.

After the guys left, me and Rach pretty much stayed in the hotel room. I walked outside to talk on the phone and went out the wrong door, so I had to walk around the hotel to get back inside. And whoever I was calling didn't answer anyways. I saw this path beside the hotel that led to a basketball court so I went to investigate. It was a court for the Roman Catholic Church on the next street over. I couldn't get in because it was locked, but to the left of that path was another path with the stations of the Cross. I didn't have anything else to do and I was up for a little adventure, so I went. And even though I'm not Catholic, the stations and prayers that the Church had set up were really good. I didn't pray to Mary, I kinda left that part out. And the prayers about being a child, because....I didnt think those prayers applied to me anymore. But it was a nice little hike and they got the stations wrong. I think there are only 12 and they had 14. But whatev....it was fun. I actually got a lot out of it and sat at the end of it and just talked to God about things I was dealing with. There was another path that was a Rosary prayer, but I decided that path was not for me. So I hiked back to the hotel and realized I had been gone for a while.

It made me miss Asheville even more. I can't believe I am actually homesick for not just my church, friends and family in Aville, but the city of Asheville itself. I miss the hippies, and the mtns, hiking, nature, woods, weirdness.....I guess its true what they say. You dont know what you have until you dont have it anymore. My heart is still open to a calling to a different city, but we'll see what happens. Pittsburgh is not out of the running, but its low on the list. If only it was further south.....

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Heellllllllo OHIO!

Wednesday morning. 2:30 am. Get up, leave by 3 am. Get to airport, check in, wait in line to check baggage. Crazy Asian lady cuts off the line to re-organize the lines to the counter. Our plane leaves at 5:15 and its getting close to that time and we still have to go through security. And crazy Asian lady is taking her time.....guess who's bags were overweight AGAIN...I ended up having to cram some stuff in Rachel's bag. $90 bucks for 6 lbs. Delta sucks.Finally check bags and get in line to go through security- which is ridiculously long. Finally get passed through it and we make it just in time to sit for a couple minutes before we board. Good thing we arrived 2 hours early. Get on board and our flight is delayed because some person in a seat ahead of us was having complications. Awesome. We have a connecting flight that takes off 30 minutes after we arrive in Detroit. This day keeps on getting better and better. As much as I would have loved to stare out the window again, I was knocked out even before we took off. I had to be tired for that to happen. Best of all, we got put on the emergency exit so if the plane crash landed or anything, we would be in charge of saving everyone's life.But hey, we got extra leg room...

I woke up maybe an hour and a half into the 4 hour flight.Sometime during the flight I looked at the map and we were over the Colorado Rockies. I glanced outside and it was a gorgeous sight! I think I may have even seen snow...does it snow in the summer at high altitudes in CO? I don't know- I've never been. I think the best memory of the flight though that I would share with all of you is my partner Rachel standing up to go to the bathroom but can't pass by because the guy beside her is asleep with his legs out so she couldn't pass. So she just stood there. All awkward and stuff. For like 7 minutes.

We land in Detroit and have to RUN, literally...RUN to our gate across the airport. That's not easy with heavy carry ons- let me tell ya. We get to the gate and everyone else had already boarded. It was a small rinky dink plane that "smoked" from under the seats. Ok, maybe not smoke- it was the AC, but nonetheless....I'd never seen that before and it wasn't comforting. Nothing to really say about this flight, it was the shortest flight ever. 15 minutes. But the male flight attendant- Princeton.....was HOT. If I ever wanted a flight to be longer, it would have been that one.

Welcome to Dayton. This is where the troubles began. We went to the most ghetto Mcdonalds I've ever been to and drove by cornfield after cornfield, after barn, farmhouse, cornfield, one stop light town, cornfield...you get the picture. I have definitely learned that I am NOT a "farm" girl. Living in an area like that would drive me crazy. A ton of horror movies flooded my mind...especially when we stayed at a motel that resembles the one in Vacancy. Our first show in Ohio our right speakers flaked out on us and our DVDs weren't synched. (For those who don't know what I do, we do school assembly programs with 3 huge screens that we set up. 3 projectors and 3 different DVD players. The show is all synced together so if your timing is off on your DVDs, its noticeable) I tried to fix the time difference and ended up stopping the whole show 2 min in and having to start it all over...and the timing the second time was worse than the first. We did 2 shows and the second one was better, plus our speakers came back up. Oh and we do intros and conclusions to the show and I spoke faster than the speed of light because I was nervous. I really got to work on that.

So we had a few days off when we got to Blue Ash, Ohio- which is right outside Cincinnati. Maybe the city would redeem Ohio. Nope. We got lost and ended up in Kentucky and all I wanted to do was go to an art museum. Our directions there were wrong so when we finally found it an hour later (despite any help from the 2 gas stations we stopped at because they both told us it was in Eden Park but they didn't know how to tell us to get there from where we were- SERIOUSLY!! You're a gas station!!!) it was closed. I got all fancy and dressed up for nothing. So me and Rach ate pizza at Eden Park with the pretty pond. We went to a festival in Blue Ash that night. REO Speedwagon was playing a free concert. I "cant fight this feeling anymore" so we decided to go (get it??) Maybe this would redeem Ohio. Nope. Wrong again. We got yelled at for following the line through the crowd, so we left even before the band came on stage. At least we had a nice hotel room......

Until we were rudely awaken by the fire alarm at 6:30 in the morning the next day. And we had an afternoon show so we were able to sleep in. We evacuated the hotel and stood outside for 5 minutes, before Rachel said- hey..I smell gas. We then decided to run back inside and get our stuff. Yeah...that happened. Kinda glad the hotel didn't explode now. Did I happen to mention that the whole time we were in Ohio we both were sick? I was at the peak of sickness at this point and we had to stand outside for 45 minutes.

Ohio is totally off my list for possible relocation. Asheville looks reallllllly good right now. Me and Rachel made a pack that if our tour dips into Ohio again, we are calling Andrew and telling him we're pregnant. Tour ended. Haha. So far we're in the clear- only PA, NJ, and NY now. But just...in....case.....

I don't think I was ever so glad to leave somewhere. Right now we're in Pittsburgh. I really like Pittsburgh. Its on the list of possible relocation. I am a little scared for my life though cause I'm not a Steelers, Pirates, or Penguins fan. These people up here take their sports seriously. More to come about this adventure in my next blog.

Welcome to California!

Whoa. So its been a full 4 weeks of being away from home. It doesn't feel that long. I kinda feel like I'm on an extended vacation. Minus the 2 weeks of grueling training in the hot sun. That hot sun would have been amazing to lay out by a pool or the ocean however....setting up frames and taking them down over and over and over on a black top- not so much.

The flight to California was a pretty long one. Stayed up all night and left Aunt Beckys at 3 in the morning to catch my plane at 6. Man I love to fly. After going to Charlotte airport so many times and sitting at the overlook watching planes take off to far away destinations and come in from who knows where, it was finally MY turn to take off to new adventures. And sadly no one to watch because the over look doesnt open till 10. Doesnt matter, I still got to take off. Oh and God totally blessed me with a free $300 voucher for another flight because I took a later flight (they were overbooked). So free flight home! But anyways..I got a window seat on both of my flights. Even though my eyes fought to close, they were glued to the world outside the window. Taking off, watching the world below disappear as we slice into the clouds and then white silence. Its the only way I know to describe it. Surrounded by clouds and the brightness of the sun..its almost like the outskirts of heaven. And ever so often you can see patches of the earth below- the houses made of ticky-tack and fields of green.

I remember coming upon LAX, there was desert. Miles and miles of desert. I even think I may have seen the Grand Canyon from the air at one point. And then there was city. And city never stopped. We landed at LAX and so it began. I was picked up and was ridiculously excited to be in California. I half expected to see a celebrity somewhere because in my mind, they were always coming and going from LAX to various places around the world. And there would be paparazzi flashing cameras and it would be crazy..but no. No celebrity. Actually no celebrity sightings THE WHOLE time I was in the LA area. Suck. Not that I care much about their lives or anything, but its like..when you go to Buffalo, NY, you go and see Niagara Falls. When you go to LA, you see celebrities. Fail LA. Major fail on that part.

California is nice. Im a huge fan of palm trees and beaches. It was somewhat of a culture shock to leave LAX and the LA area and drive from city to city to city for miles and never see woods/ forests/ a group of trees or fields. It was all city- no towns. And smog. Lots of smog. At first, I looked over towards the mtns and was like...Aww fog over the mtns. Kinda reminds me of home. My co-workers then said- "No, no, no. Thats not fog. Thats smog." Gross. But the city feel grew on me. After a few days I was ok with it.

The first night there was only 6 of us in the condo because a few of us arrived early. I'm glad I got to come a day early because as soon as we got to the condo, I crashed. I had figured it out that I had been awake for nearly 38 hours. I only slept for about 2 hours before our small group went out to grab something to eat. Me and 2 of the girls ate outside at this Oriental Tea Ren place. I got a drink with aloe vera chunks in it, and it was actually very good. Yay for being healthy! Then we met up with the guys at Applebees and the sleep depravity was getting to me. I told everyone in a British accent that "I'm from British" and apparently I don't do mad libs correctly. I still have yet to live either down. My applebees kids menu mad libs thing is posted on the condos refrigerator and people still remind me of "I'm from British." At least I haven't lost my ability to make people laugh.

On Sunday, the rest of the crew arrived and the guys stayed in the condo while the girls moved to the Latin American Bible Institute (LABI). Training began and the next day. We had breakfast every morning at 6:30, started training at 7 and went till 8:30 most nights with about an hour lunch and dinner break. Sometimes and hour and a half. It was rough, and a LOT of hard work, but it was fun too. I got lucky and got sent to the office a couple times too. Those were the best days of training. I wish that we would have had more time to spend with the guys. They had to leave shortly after the day was over because of curfews and such, plus we were too tired to really do anything. The girls got together sometimes and watched the Little Mermaid, or had random snack parties in the middle of the day...or just hung out in one of the dorm rooms and did what girls do best- talk. I miss those days. Friendships were built in such a short time and then we are sent all over the country and may never see those people again. Harsh reality. But I do talk to them regularly.

We had weekends off so we went and explored what LA had to offer. Went to Hollywood. Its not as glitzy and glamorous as I thought it was going to be. It was grungy and almost ghettoish in some parts. The Hollywood walk of fame was pretty cool. Didn't see a celebrity-that was disappointing. We did see the LA Film school, a couple Scientology "churches" and a testing center, Capitol Records, Amoeba Record Store, Madame Tousands (I really wanted to go in there, but we just drove by), the Kodak and Chinese Theaters. In front of the Chinese Theatre there was a lot of impersonators- Batman, Spiderman, Woody, Michael Jackson, Optimus Prime, among a slew of others. We were just driving by, but later I learned if you took a picture of them and didn't pay, they would get really mad at you. Honestly, its one of those experiences I feel like that once you've done it, you've done it. Been there done that. I would like to go back to Madame Tousands Wax Museum and go to a movie premiere at the Chinese Theater. The VMAs were held at the Kodak Theatre and I could have went...and by going I mean standing outside cause there would be NO WAY that I could get in the awards show...but my tour was changed. Things happen. Oh well.

We also drove through Beverly Hills. Didn't see any really huge mansions or anything, but did see a lot of really expensive cars. Lamborginis, Ferraris, and a bunch that I don't even know what they are, but I did know that they cost a lot. That led us to Santa Monica, where we went out on THE Pier. It was dark by the time we got there, but we spent maybe 15 minutes there. I even got to walk out on the beach- which is all I really wanted to do since I got to Cali. I went to church at Oasis church and me and a small group went back to the Pier and stayed longer and took a lot of pics. It was another one of those things where once you've done it, that's all you really want to do.

We said goodbye the next week to our first team to leave out- the married couple. Stacie and Garrett left for the East Coast as Team 1.  Saturday a few more teams left for tour and our group of 25 dwindled down pretty fast. The remaining girls moved into the condo and the guys stayed at one of the local tech's parent's house. Imagine putting 11 girls into a 2 bedroom condo with 2 bathrooms. CRAZINESS!! More people left as the days went on. Me, Rachel (my partner) and Danny were the 3 people that were going to remain on the local tour. We spent our days in the office making buttons and packages to be sent to schools, making phone calls, making DVDS, etc until our boss Andrew got a phone call on Tuesday that changed everything. A facebook update changed the game plan. Garrett and Stacie were pregnant and she was dealing with a kidney infection/stones so they would be leaving tour permanently. Me and Rachel were going to be transferred to the Northeast tour first thing Wednesday morning. Goodbye California.