Homesick

I am rediculously homesick. But its a weird kind of homesick. I miss my friends back home a lot. and my church and the cool stuff thats going on. My friends went to the Journey and Foreigner concert, Kailey and Ines are in Orlando and going to Disney, Universal Studios, etc, my church had a Battle of the Bands and a Becoming Women's Conference, some friends from college are going to Homecoming, and I'm missing out on all of it. And I know I am having an INCREDIBLE experience of my own, but its not in community. And I KNOW its not true, but I feel forgotten- the out of sight, out of mind mentality. Its kind of like I'm away at college, but I don't get to come home for fall break, and Thanksgiving and occasional weekends.I come home at Christmas.

I know that I'm not forgotten, that its just all in my mind. I get the updates from the Cobbledicks about things to pray for and whats going on during Sunday lunch and I miss them terribly and wish I could be there. I feel like this is God preparing me for whats to come. I felt like when I left Asheville for California, I was saying goodbye deep down. As awesome as a faith community that I had and an amazing Mom, something was missing in my life and God was calling me to leave. And every city I go to, I see how amazing Asheville is and how I could spend the rest of my life there, but theres still that something missing. And I don't know what it is or what I'm looking for!

I came on this journey to get closer to God and seek what He has for my life. Right now, I feel like Im on one huge road trip and that I get to work a few hours a day. I absolutely love my job. I love what the company stands for and what we get to do. I actually like the challenge of lining up projectors with all the obstacles and figuring out how the heck we are going to fit 3 huge frames in small spaces...and then watch the kids watch the video and actually affect some of them. I wish we could have more interaction with them, but its planting seeds. Yeah, for some, they are just getting out of class for 45 min or so, but for others- it actually does speak into their lives. And its for those kids that we do what we do.

However, I haven't been doing the main personal reason I came to Camfel. I haven't been studying the Word and listening to God's still, silent voice or praying as much as I should. Today is kind of the day that I'm taking for that and planning out how to do it on a daily basis. Maybe then I wont be so homesick. I've been focusing a lot of time on other people or the adventure I'm on, or just myself and not nearly enough on mine and God's relationship. I gotta "Get a Grip" and buckle down on self-control. Ironic, isn't it? I spoke to my cousin Adam today and talked about all the challenges I was facing and thats what he told me- I got to get some self-control. Ok, God. I got it. Loud and clear. Here I go....